Wednesday, 9 November 2011

A carefree chuckle

The Quiller gazes out of the shimmering window and up toward the smokey clouds blanketing the sky, as they glide across the cheshire cats smile. He looks poignantly upward, his awesome brain conjuring another meaningful gambit to empart on his citizens - then he unexpectedly cough's, his trousers fall down and he trips back onto the couch, exclaiming furiously at the barometer which has fallen ever-downward that there really is no kind bearded deity in the sky.

Yes, your great orator is still struggling like a deaf mute in a debating society with the (man) flu. But he will SOLDIER ON, with some abusive texts and a slap round the napper from the missus to spur his endeavours onward.

Rant of the Day

So apparantly the pesky blighters at FIFA (which is the Football Federation that governs the entire structure of the globes most popular sport, for any of our dear pigskin-loving neighbours across the mucky pond) seemed determined to prevent the British national team's from afixing poppies, the symbol worn annually during early November in memory of fallen service men and women through time, to their respectful black armbands during the round of games this coming weekend.

And boy are we all mad about this! Ooh, how dare they! The swines!

Quickly, lets all discuss at the water cooler just how gosh darn unfair this is - those brutish foreign types dictating to us noble men and women of God's country. Get that twirp who runs the country on the case. Bell up the future throne-sitting baldy and lets sort these bastards out. You jolly well won't push us around!


Except not really.

Come on, do you honestly think that these people give two shades of shit what any of us think? More to the point, I don't believe that a single one of them has a better side to appeal to. No, as far as FIFA is concerned it's job well done. Another day at the office.

The only thing that anyone who sits one ANY board of ANY company/committee/summer church fate wants is acknowledgement that it doesn't matter how passionately you make your case, they are holding all the metaphorical cards.

And the bigger the organisation, the bigger the decisions are, and the bigger the ego's grow to. FIFA are certainly not going to be an exception are they? I mean honestly, this is the same group of multicultural nonces that won't allow England to host the World Cup until we give the Falklands back to Argentina, that believe Jews are lazy (that's why they wandered about 'lost' in the desert for 40 years, presumably) and have seen more bungs than a communal glass bottle of lube at the Roman baths. I think they have demonstrated better than most they honestly don't hold the integrity of their rules and ethics in high regard.

FIFA were never going to ban the poppy. This was all just a show where a group of suits flexed their collective clout in the face of visceral public opinion and then tried to appear magnanimous in their capacity to change.

But The Quiller sees through you. As does basically everybody if they stopped and thought about it for three seconds. And we're always hearing clamour for everything to be given 'back to the people' - the common market, the 'power' (though it's hardly power when Paul the Pikey's front garden is littered with Asda bags full of shit because he now has the 'power' to collect and dispose of his own waste) and most certainly the football.

So why can't the FA's of Spain, England, Italy et al take FIFA out of the equation and form a trust network free from the grasp of one unifying shower of shite.

I mean honestly, what is HE going to do about it?

Just look at him. It's as if someone lopped off their left testicle, hollowed it out and stretched it inside out over a clay bust of Squidward off of Spongebob.


Quote of the Day

On the short run up to christmas now and suddenly everybody's obsessed with their weight aren't they? Well personally, I have a figure that resembles a capital B saluting the sun. So I don't think a few extra biccies hoovered up between afternoon tea and pre-dinner snacks is going lead to an existential crisis.

But honestly, the amount of 'Ooh I shouldn't's' and 'I can't be naughties') going around the laughter factory (hyperbolic antonym for the office, in case you were wondering) is getting palpable.

We really do seem to have nurtured a wonderful culture of the extreme around the best of the holiday seasons, don't we? It's all fasting - craving - endulging - guilting - resolution making - return to A little calm in the storm wouldn't go a miss.

I may sound like a pedantic hypocrite, but perhaps we don't actually HAVE to raid the end of aisle displays at the local supermarket everytime we do a big shop and bring them into the office/reception/toilet. Perhaps we can just rationally go about our lives and ignore the spasm-inducing twinkle lights around the latest buy two get three free heart-attack snacks? Maybe we all collectively can make a pact to pool our efforts and say NO to the commercial pressure to gorge and guilt. If we all stick to our principles and with a hand on each of our collective shoulders, we may just....

Oh fuck it, those chocolate-coated seasonal shortbreads will go soft if someone doesn't devour right just now.

" I know this obsession with thinness is unhealthy and anti-feminist, but that's what a fat girl would say! "

Lisa Simpson - Season 16 of The Simpsons

And so chicks and cocks, we have arrived at the end of the show for another day/post/ramble. Once I get a touch more time over the weekend I will be adding a third item to the daily agenda, which will be different depending on the day of the week. Should be good.

As ever, feedback and ideas always welcome.

Catch you on the next page, parchment miters.

No comments:

Post a Comment